First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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