Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
