She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
