lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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