All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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