Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
