whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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