That's intense
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
