when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where is the hickey?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
50% drunk capacity currently
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
