Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
