Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
