You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
