I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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