she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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