He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize