i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
