Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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