How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
wow bdsm is so cute
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
