There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
