Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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