she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
