She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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