handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I enjoy the company of your penis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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