worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
