Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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