All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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