Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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