what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Drunk is not a location!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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