Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
