I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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