Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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