we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize