This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
