he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need water and some morals
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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