Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
