she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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