whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My bed smells like the plague
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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