dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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