is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
