Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
