Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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