Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
