Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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