Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize