I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
