I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
