And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
