He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
