things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
