Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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