i need an iv and a liver transplant
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
