i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
