so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
