Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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