You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
