Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what day is it and did you see me today?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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