maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
