Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm like, not good at living.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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