Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
