just tell him i said nine months
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
